Grim Reaper – It’s Not Easy Being Me

Let’s make sure of one thing before you read on, I don’t need or want your sympathy because I have your soul coming to me eventually! But it really is not easy being me, the Grim Reaper. The Grim Reaper is the most hated person in the Universe. Yes it is true, humans as well as the other life forms in the universe hate me and are deathly afraid of me (a little grim humor there). But why? Why do I get the bad rap? Why am I the most feared angel? This whole Angel of Death thing has gotten way out of control. But don’t cry for me Argentina, Brazil you can cry for me but not Argentina.

Alright, let me give you some reasons why it is hard to be me. First I have no night life. I am so busy 24 hours a day I don’t have the time to party. I have to work unlike most of you. If you people quit killing each other I might have some time for me and the family. But NO, let’s have a war, let’s piss some religious freak off, let’s make fun of the gay guy, let’s kill someone because he is not like me! My god people (sorry God) let’s cut the crap and enjoy your life because you ain’t going to live forever! Second, I can’t go anywhere without being recognized. Just once, would it be too difficult for any of you to come up to me to say “hi”, “what’s up”, how ya doing”, give me a smile or even ask for my autograph? Huh, would it? All I get from you people is this look of fear, screaming and kicking, trying to run away from me like I have some sort of plague or something. Hey, I work on my looks, the wife likes them. So why can’t you make me feel a little more welcome when you see me? Third, you humans refer to me as the Angel of Death, like I have the right to take your soul. Get real humans! Let me explain something. The Angel of Death administers the particular punishment that “God” (yea God, not me) has ordained for your sins. The Angel of Death receives his order from “God”. As soon as I have received permission to destroy, I make no distinction between good and bad, I just do my job. Pure and simple, I do my job. So stop looking at me as the Angel of Death, start trying to look at me like God’s FedEx Pick-up Angel or God’s Lackey Angel or God’s Minion but not the Angel of Death. To make my case more concrete, Moses did not die through the Angel of Death, but through God’s kiss. It’s in the Hebrew bible so quit blaming Moses death on me, please.

I made my case. I am not the bad guy here. I am a hard working stiff (more Grim Reaper humor) trying to do the best job possible. After all, God is my boss and we don’t want to piss off God, right? As the Grim Reaper always says, “There is always death and taxes; however, death doesn’t get worse every year.” So you should start fearing your politicians more than me. See you all real soon and cut me some slack!